I wrote this blog post on Vera's first birthday, and somehow it got logged with my drafts and never got published. Now I happened to come upon it on the exact anniversary of her being 18 months (or for you non-baby talk readers a year and a half). These words touched my heart to remember the place I was in just six short months ago. We are in quite a different place now, though that is for a different post. She continues to amaze me daily, and I'm so excited to share more soon! :
Today is my kiddo's first birthday. She's pretty amazing. Right on time - she's started taking her first few tottering steps and she lovingly says "mama", which melts my heart every time. It's kind of amazing to think just how fast this year has gone by.
When she was bon, she was very little - 5lbs 11ozs, and on oxygen for 5 never ending weeks. She had literally no fat on her, her skin hung on her skeleton. Now she's on the verge of walking and says "mama". It's pretty wild to watch a little human grow. To experience how they are born this blank slate (though not without anything at all...) and as they encounter new things, and begin to integrate experiences, they begin to shape their world. It's wild to watch her begin to become best friends with the dogs and share mischievous looks with them as she sneakily passes them food behind her back at the table. When, what seems like last week, though it was nearly a year ago, she wasn't even sitting up, much less eating at the table or acknowledging the dogs. I thought, in the midst of the long nights of nursing on demand, of praying to get the oxygen tubes out of her nose, of wondering if she was ever going to put a little weight on, that the hardness would last forever. And I guess in a way it does - it changes, but that particular hardness of very newborns is long forgotten. Her infectious smile and giggle have seen to that. When she holds out her hand with whatever I've just given her, to share it with me, I wonder if this child will change the world with her generosity.
I made a human being. One that is amazing. And this day - the day that commemorates her coming into this world to share her life with me is now my most favorite day. I love you Vera, and honor our relationship so much! Happy Birthday, my sweet girl!!
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As a student of yoga, massage, meditation , poetry and other such introversions, I figured some of my inspirations might also touch the hearts of others. Read, ruminate, digest, create...always returning to this well of deep love inside to renew ourselves and rediscover what we are. Enjoy!