Ok, so what will I tackle in my morning writing today...?
Maybe it will be more rumination about the business plan and how we need to rewrite it. I wonder how many times I will write about having to rewrite it before I actually do something about that.
Maybe it will be about the new car that my husband got last night. AGAIN. I mean, literally, the guy has gotten maybe nine different cars since we've been together. Maybe more, maybe I’m blocking some out. But in that time, I've had: the Celica that I had since high school when we met, when we were 26. Then we got a Jeep Cherokee together (oooh - that reminds me - I didn't count that in the total count for him, so that's up to 10 now, I guess), then the Honda Pilot came after I crashed the Jeep. That Pilot turned into the Prius that I still drive today. So that's four for me since we've been together, and there was only a Volvo before that - my very first car. So, knowing that my husband's had more cars before we met, lets bump him up to 12, to be modest. So he's had AT LEAST 12 cars and I've had 5 in my whole life. Whoa. He's a car guy. I can't and don't want to change that about him. I'm just way different in my hobbies. No big deal.
Our daughter was sad though, last night and expressed how much she will miss the Silverado, and I agreed. I really liked that truck. It was pretty badass. But, you know what? It's only a thing. And I gave me an opportunity to tackle a little mini-lesson on Buddhism with her - on attachment and impermanence last night. We likened it to a light bulb. I said - you won't get sad when this light bulb dies and we have to change it out for a new one will you? You know that light bulbs die and we occasionally have to change them. We don't mourn the old ones, we just move on. Basically, everything is the same as the light bulb. Everything starts to break down as soon as it is created, either by God or by man. Houses start to settle - get cracks and imperfections.... fast forward 100 or 200 or however many years, depending on the construction, and you'll see that the house looks way more weathered and broken down than when it was new. It may not even exist anymore. The same thing happens with cars. As soon as they are made, and parts start to move and rub together and make friction and come against forces of nature, and that car will start to see the effects of wear and tear. It's just the way of the world. People are the same way. As soon as we are born, we begin aging, things start changing; essentially we are dying. We move ever closer to the end. This isn't to be sad or morbid, but rather just the opposite. To remind us to absolutely cherish the joys we have in life WHEN we have them, in the full light of consciousness that we will not have them forever, or at least not the same way as we do right now. So, our bodies will inevitably change, our minds for sure, our homes yes, our cars, yes, the stitching in our clothes won't last forever, our pets will age and perish, our relationships will change and maybe persist but in an ever-changing state, or they too will start to deconstruct until they are no more. This is JUST the nature of things. Time marches on, nature brings us into contact with forces that weather us and things around us... it's nothing to be sad about. You'll waste your days mourning the inevitable instead of embracing the beauty of the present moment. THIS is the beauty in Buddhist philosophy for me. The teaching that shows us not to be scared of what's to come, because inevitably something is coming, something that will change something else, or maybe everything else, but instead let go! Let go of holding on to our things, they will come and go, let go of our people - they will stay as long as it is right for everyone, and then joyfully they will go and we will not mourn but rejoice in the love we spent together. Let go of our attachment to roles and labels, because they will change as we move through our lives - we will change, hopefully we will evolve, and staying so bound to what was will only hold us back and also create sorrow and fear of the glorious changes that are happening. What a liberating thought.
So, while I enjoyed that truck, and hope to someday have another as cool as that one was, I am not sad it's gone, I'm not in mourning about what we could've done with it. No. I'm just moving forward with what we've got. A sweet, smaller, zippier sedan that can take us where we need to go and spare the planet a little fossil fuels while we're at it. And save us some money, while we are in the uncertainty of getting the money to buy our business.
Maybe a lot for a seven year old? Well, I've never prided myself on handling things delicately. There were some tears - mostly about the relationships and pets thing, but then when her dad came in to say goodnight, she told him that she wasn't sad because everything is already breaking when it's made... Ha... I guess she got it.
So, back to that business plan procrastination.....
As a student of yoga, massage, meditation , poetry and other such introversions, I figured some of my inspirations might also touch the hearts of others. Read, ruminate, digest, create...always returning to this well of deep love inside to renew ourselves and rediscover what we are. Enjoy!